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in a small saucepan, combine coconut milk and mulling spice.
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Bring just to boiling; reduce heat to low.simmer, covered over low heat for 5 minutes.
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strain mixture through a fine mesh sieve; discard mulling spice.
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reserve 2 tbls of the spiced coconut milk mixture, cover and chill for use in frosting.
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add chopped dates to remaining mixture -- cover date mixture and set aside.
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for cookie dough.
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in a large mixing bowl, beating shortenig and butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds.
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add granulated sugar, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt; beat until combined.
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beat in eggs until combined. Beat in as much flour as you can.
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stir in any remaining flour.
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stir in the date mixture.
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cover and chill for 2-4 hours or until easy to handle.
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preheat oven to 375*.
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shape dough into 1" balls.
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place balls 2" apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.bake in preheated oven for 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned.
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transfer cookies to a wire rack and cool.
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meanwhile to prepare frosting -- in a small bowl, stir together powdered sugar and reserved coconut milk mixture.
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add enough milk (1-2 tsps) to make a frosting of desired consistency.
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spread or drizzle cooled cookies with frosting.if desired.sprinkle with toasted coconut.
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to store cookies, place them in layers seperated by waxed paper in an airtight container, cover.
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store at room temperature for up to 3 days or freeze unfrosted cookies up to 3 minths.
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thaw cookies and then frost.